Future Ebay User policy

Disclaimer: This is a hypothetical post about WHAT COULD HAPPEN at ebay….                                                              CEO John Donahoe in a press conference announced the new ebay user agreement. “Research analysts at ebay have determined that buyer protection is currently inadequate, so we are introducing the ability for buyers to get refunds or returns up to 180 days after a purchase. In order to insure compliance with this, ebay will be placing holds of up to 180 days on sellers’ Paypal funds. These holds can be extended indefinitely if a seller gets one low DSR rating or one negative feedback during that 180 day period.” A reporter asked, “Won’t sellers rebel against holds of that length of time?” Donahoe replied, “They agreed to it when they signed up to sell on ebay. A new addition to our user agreement will prohibit ebay sellers from complaining in writing on any of the Discussion Boards here, and if they do complain, their account will be suspended and ebay will seize their Paypal account permanently.” Another reporter asked, “Wouldn’t that be illegal?’ Donahoe replied, “Users agreed to all of this when they signed up. Ebay cannot be subject to class action suits if users agreed to arbitration.” Another reporter pointed out, “What about the ebay sellers who will be left unable to operate if their PayPal funds are seized?” Donahor replied, “Well, in conjunction with Federal, state and local governments, ebay will provide a new housing opportunity we are rolling out, called ebay Huts. These huts will be approximately 30 feet by 30 feet and will be equipped with Internet access, bathroom facility, small kitchenettes. Ebay sellers will be allowed to reside in them as long as they agree to keep selling on ebay and allow ebay to retain control of their PayPal funds. A small Ebay Diner on Wheels will deliver meals on wheels to them provided by ebay and the government. Now if there are no further questions…”


4 thoughts on “Future Ebay User policy

  1. Pingback: Future Ebay User policy | seeker137

  2. This is my satire of how bad things at ebay are. When I posted it on ebay in one of the Discussion Boards, it rattled somebody’s cage enough that they TOOK IT DOWN. So here it is now, for the world to see, read, and enjoy…

  3. Been suspended from eBay? Had your selling privileges revoked permanently? They say your not good enough to sell on eBay BUT you can still buy? (Slap in the face!) Speak up and create some noise in cyberspace. Do a Podcast or Skype conversation with me to let the world know how eBay treated you. It’s a known buzz that eBay’s guardrail is defective and is needlessly suspending good eBay sellers! Contact me to do a call here: http://www.narumessenger.com/naru-messengers-podcast-interview-request-form/

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